


Echoes of a lost love

by zeusfluff



Category: Lost
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-14 02:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5726065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeusfluff/pseuds/zeusfluff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during the events of “The Incident” at the Swan worksite. Sawyer sacrifices himself so he can set off the explosive to reset time. Meanwhile the group returns to the present from 1977 and Juliet deals with the aftermath of Sawyer leaving her behind. *This is AU.*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Echoes of a lost love

**Author's Note:**

> Do not own any of the LOST characters. But I do own an original one.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set during the events of "The Incident" at the Swan worksite. Sawyer sacrifices himself so he can set off the explosive to reset time. Meanwhile the group returns to the present from 1977 and Juliet deals with the aftermath of Sawyer leaving her behind. *This is AU.*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the LOST characters. But I do own Sawyer and Juliet's daughter Cara.

[](https://postimg.org/image/5c7zmnkkr/)

[](https://postimg.org/image/5c7zmnkkr/)

 

 

“Where do you think you’re going James?”

Sawyer smirked and tried his best to pull himself up and out of the hole that would become the hatch. Juliet knew she couldn’t hold his weight. Even if Kate held on to her ankles and helped her pull him up he was just too heavy. But she had to try.

“I’m not going anywhere blondie. If I could just reach for that piece of scaffolding over there I might be able to get myself out of this.”

His mind was reeling. Who was he kidding? For a moment he thought he saw something different in Juliet’s eyes, something he hadn’t seen there before.

“Just give me your hand James. Kate and I can pull you up. Just give me your hand. Come on!”

The chains around his waist grew tighter around him as they were being pulled downwards with the electromagnetism at the bottom of the hatch hole. Everything was being ripped  
downwards. He barely had time to duck his head to avoid the wheelbarrow that just flew past him.

“Just a little lower Juliet, my fingers can barely reach yours.”

Juliet struggled to reach Sawyer’s sweaty hands as he grappled for anything he could find to hang onto. Turning her head towards Kate, Juliet shouted up to her.

“Kate just a little lower. I can’t quite reach him!”

Kate leaning into the hole, grabbed for Juliet’s legs and held on. Getting ahold of Sawyer’s hands, Juliet tried pulling him up. Juliet was leaning almost all the way into the hole. Tugging on her ankles, Kate grunted.

“Juliet I don’t think the two of us can pull him up! He’s too heavy!”

Juliet became angry, they’d been through so much in the past three years. She wasn’t giving up on him now.

“I am not leaving him! We can get him out. Try harder!”

Kate knew that Juliet was just flustered because she couldn’t get a good hold on Sawyer. She pulled as hard as she could on the chains that were wrapped around him. Her and Juliet  
were a sort of tag-team. Juliet would pull and then Kate would pull up some slack. But neither of them were getting very far. Meanwhile, more debris was flying down past Sawyer into what looked like an eternal abyss below. Juliet was using all her strength to pull at the chains, but the magnetic pull of the energy was stronger. She saw some sort of calm reach Sawyer’s eyes, even though he still looked very terrified.

“It’s ok. I’ll be fine.”

Juliet shook her head no furiously and yanked at the chains harder.

“No. You’re not leaving. I won’t let you. If you leave, who’s going to watch my back? I got your back remember?”

Sawyer had become accustomed to Juliet's sincerity. He'd felt drawn to her ever since she'd said she had his back. They'd both sacrifice themselves so that the other could live.

“I’ve got yours too blondie. Never forget that.”

Juliet knew what Sawyer was about to do, she felt his hands slipping from her own. Shaking her head again, she gripped them tighter.

“No! You hold on James! We’ll get you out!”

She knew she was on the verge of hysteria, but she really couldn’t blame herself at this point in time. Her best friend, lover and boyfriend of 3 years was being pulled down the semi-constructed hatch hold by electromagnetism. This damned island had taken a lot from her. Her freedom. She had managed to get away from an ex-husband who held control over her by threatening to expose her research to the world unless he could collaborate with her on it. Then when she came to the island, there was Ben. Never letting leave so that she could get back to her sister and her nephew Julian. He always was manipulating her into doing things that he wanted. To say that she’d gained her own freedom back during her first three years on the island, absolutely not. All the turmoil that was going through her mind at the moment was suddenly ground to a halt when Sawyer suddenly let go. Juliet let the tears fall and she lost her fight to keep calm.

“James! No!”

A deep and long sob escaped her throat and she lie down in the gravel and covered her eyes with her hands. Then suddenly she felt hands taking hold of her shoulders.

“Juliet, he’s gone we have to go! Now!”

Taking one last long look into the hatch hole under construction, Juliet let Jack pull her to her feet. Just as soon as he’d pulled her to her feet, a blinding white light hit them all and  
then there was darkness.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Juliet woke she found that she still had a slight throb of a headache. She knew it was caused by the blinding light and jumping through time again. Her throat felt hoarse and dry and she couldn’t hear. The constant ringing in her ears was a testament to the time hopping. Managing to sit up, Juliet saw that Jack was lying less than 50 feet from her. Crawling her way towards him, she first checked for a pulse. Finding it to be strong and regular, she pushed back his eyelids to check for pupil response. A groan escaped Jack’s mouth. A wave of dizziness swept over her like a sneaker wave in the ocean and it was threatening to drown her at any given moment. Putting her head between her knees, Juliet took a few deep breaths to regain her equilibrium. She felt a larger hand on her shoulder and then Jack’s muffled voice.

“Juliet? You alright?”

Juliet kept her head between her knees but she was seeing darkness creeping up on the edges of her eyes. Before Juliet could answer Jack, she felt herself falling. She wasn’t sure if  
this was a side effect of the time traveling or the child growing in her belly. She’d known for a few days, but hadn’t figured the right time to tell Sawyer. If you could hear broken hearts weep, Juliet Burke’s was the loudest.

To Be Continued…


	2. "You're not James"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack patches Juliet up and she tells him she's pregnant. Meanwhile, she goes down to the hatch 'crater' and tries to dig Sawyer out of the debris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the LOST characters. But I do own one original character.

“Juliet wake up. Open your eyes for me Juliet.”

She thought she’d only been dreaming. That this whole time-traveling thing had been one awful nightmare. Slowly opening her eyes, she found that it was still dark out. Her eyes couldn’t seem to focus on anything. When she heard the voice calling her name again, she frowned. It wasn’t who she was expecting. 

“Juliet can you hear me?”

Eyes beginning to clearly focus, her bottom lip began to quiver and she was trying to hold in a sob, but it escaped her parted lips.

“You’re not James…”

She could see pity in Jack’s eyes, something she definitely didn’t want right now. He was examining the bruise that was starting to form on her left cheek and the tiny cut from the split lip Phil had given her. 

“Who gave you this Juliet?”

Juliet stayed still but winced as Jack pressed on her left cheek. 

“Phil.”

Jack shook his head and cleaned up the dried blood on her split lip. She sat and wiped away the salty tears that flowed down her cheeks. 

“Well, I don’t feel or see any serious swelling in your cheek which would indicate a broken jaw. Listen Juliet, I’m sorry about James. I know there is nothing I can do to bring him back.”

Juliet looked away from Jack and towards the hole with what was left of the hatch after it had exploded. Could James be stuck under there? Had he traveled back through time with us? Was he still alive? Her heart clenched at the last thought and gasped. This made Jack worried. He continued his thought as he turned her head towards him.

“Juliet, are you hurt anywhere else?”

Bursting into tears, she covered her face with her hands. 

“Jack, you don’t understand I have to get off this island.”

Taking her hands in his, Jack pulled them away from her face so that he could see her.

“I know. We all do.”

She was debating on whether to tell him about the baby yet or not. The longer she waited though, the more her life was in danger. She would need injections of her serum sooner rather than later. Continuing his thought Jack still held onto Juliet’s hands.

“You never answered my question Juliet. Are you hurt anywhere else?”

Juliet was too distracted with what was left of the hatch to answer him. It was only when Jack examined a large gash on her right side did she tense and look up at him. 

“Ouch. Jack be careful.”

Frowning, Jack pressed around the wound and then poured a little cold water on it. 

“This gash isn’t too bad. Nothing a couple of stitches won’t fix. What I’m more concerned about is how rigid your abdomen is. What’s going on there? Does something else hurt?”

Juliet shut her eyes momentarily and then opened them up again.

“I’m pregnant.”

There it was again in Jack’s eyes, pity. But sympathy rode it in waves this time. Jack still in doctor mode nodded and continued cleaning the large gash on her side.

“How far along are you?”

Letting out a strangled sigh, she turned her eyes towards the hatch ‘crater’. 

“6 weeks. I’ve only known for a few days. Sew me up and let’s get on with this. I’ve got to get James out of that hole down there.”

Jack understood what Juliet was going through. Her heart was broken and it was weeping. Or rather Jack tried to understand. He’d never lost anyone he loved to anything like this. 

“After we bury him Juliet, you and I are making a trip to the medical station. I just want to make sure the baby is ok.”

She nodded but Jack wasn’t sure she’d heard him. Juliet was too focused on the hatch ‘crater’ 50 feet from her. Tears still staining her face as they fell down her pale cheeks, she imagined digging James out from under the rubble of the hatch. He was still alive and they’d all go home. She began attempting to sit up as Jack finished the last stitch.

“I have to get to James. I have to get him out of there. Can somebody help me dig?”

She’d gotten to her feet, but was unsteady. She waited for a few seconds until she regained her balance then moved forward. Climbing down into the ‘crater’ she made her way over   
to the large piles of debris that stood before her. She frantically began pulling fragments of metal and throwing them in every direction. She wasn’t leaving this ‘crater’ until she got James out. She’d dig until her fingers began to bleed if she had to.

To Be Continued…


	3. Digging Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin, Miles and Jack recover Sawyer from the hatch 'crater'. Meanwhile Juliet says goodbye to him as Jack digs his grave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the LOST characters. But I do own Juliet and Sawyer's daughter.

“There’s enough room for me to crawl in there. To get to him I mean.”

Jack shook his head no and started for the opening, they’d have to make it a bit bigger if he, Jin and Miles were going to fit through it. 

“No Juliet. You and the baby could get seriously hurt. Stay here. Jin, Miles and I will go. Stay with Kate.”

Juliet was about to protest, but Kate put a hand on her shoulder. 

“Jack’s right Juliet. They’ll get James out. It’ll be ok.”

She was about ready to burst into tears again. She knew it was her hormones though. She usually wasn’t this emotional. But right now she had a reason. The man she’d loved for 3 years had just died. Kate was trying to distract Juliet as the three men made their way into the debris. She continued her thoughts aloud, but she wasn’t sure Juliet was listening. 

“So what do you think? Boy or a girl?”

With a glossed over stare, Juliet turned her attention for a brief few milliseconds to Kate. 

“James would want a boy… I want a girl…”

Kate gave a small smile, trying to lighten the mood. Even though there was no lightening the mood at this point. 

“Well you have my vote Juliet. I think it’ll be a girl.”

Not answering, Juliet turned her attention back to the opening the three men had entered. She wanted so badly to climb in there after them. Nervously wringing her hands, Juliet held her breath as they finally brought Sawyer out. Gently lying him on the hard dirt below, Jack spoke.

“I am so sorry Juliet, but he’s gone.”

Jack motioned for the others to give her a minute, Kate following them. Letting the dam of tears go, Juliet took fistfuls of Sawyer’s shirt and buried her head in his chest and let out a long and pained sob. She let her thoughts go out loud so that they were out in the open. Everything she was feeling had been pent up inside for too long, now it was exploding outwards, much like lava flowing from a volcano. 

“You promised you’d have my back James. You promised me!? So you’re just going to leave me here to raise our child by myself?”

Taking his hand, she placed it over her still flat abdomen. 

“I know you’d want a boy to carry on the family name. But I have a strong feeling that it’ll be a girl. You’d always told me: ‘everything will be alright blondie. You wait and see.’ I will always have your back whether it’s in this world, or the next. The two of us will be here if you ever want to visit. I love you James, I have always loved you.”

Juliet knew that could be a distinct possibility, but somehow, she knew that he would move on from this place. Getting to her feet, she moved aside and nodded to the three men just mere feet behind her. She kept staring at Sawyer’s body as they carried him out of the ‘crater’ and up to the tree line. As she climbed up with the others her mind became a blank slate. Her body was numb as if she’d been out in the snow too long. Jack looked at her seriously as he pulled a shovel from the van. 

“This is my fault Juliet. Let me help you bury him.”

Juliet stayed quiet and stared straight ahead, she knew where she wanted to bury him. She sat quietly next to James’ covered body, but held onto his hand, not wanting to let go. Holding on tight to his cold hand as Jack began to dig, Juliet could feel her heartbeat quicken. Her mind was racing with so many different thoughts. Why had they come back? They ruined the life we had in the Dharma Initiative. We were happy. Would it really have been so bad if we’d raised a child or two in that environment? Her eyes now wandered to the freshly dug grave and she knew what was going to happen next. Leaning over his body she pulled back the blanket so that she could see his face. 

“I will always love you James. Always.”

Whispering into his ear wasn’t going to change the fact that he was dead. Dead was dead on this island, and it brought misery to those who found themselves in the midst of it. Pushing a strand of hair that had fallen in his face, she examined every feature. He only looked like he was asleep. But she knew the truth: He was dead and he wasn’t coming back. 

To Be Continued…


	4. A broken heart isn't so easy to mend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet sees James apparition at the tree line and has a mental breakdown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the LOST characters. But I do own Juliet and Sawyer's daughter.

Juliet was taking a walk down the beach aimlessly. She didn’t know where she was going, with no intended destination planned she kept walking. Letting the surf wash up to her bare feet. Picking up a stick lying in the wet sand, she threw it into the ocean. She was frustrated and tired. Hearing Jack’s voice she ignored it and walk towards the tree line. 

“Juliet, you should eat something.”

Sitting down on a flat rock sticking out of the sand, Juliet pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. As she watched the waves crash against the shoreline, her mind went to the day the others came back. She’d been watching as Kate and Jack exited his house together. She couldn’t quite explain what she was feeling for Jack. Was she jealous that Kate was with him? In the back of her mind she knew she was. But she was with James. She loved him. She would always feel some kind of love for Jack, but not what she had with James. Jack took a seat next to her and placed a hollowed out coconut shell into her hands filled with boar meat and some banana. 

“What? No vegetables?”

Jack cracked a smile and took a seat next to her. Popping a piece of meat into her mouth with her fingers, Juliet sighed. She was eating for her baby. But she had to be absolutely honest with herself, she had to eat for her too. For the both of them. A part of her had died the day James had falling down the hatch hole and it brought about an aching in her chest that she couldn’t quite describe well enough to Jack. Jack spied the dark circles under her eyes and he knew that Juliet wasn’t getting much sleep. 

“Are you getting much sleep at night Juliet? I’m asking because you look like you’re about to fall asleep in your plate of food.”

Juliet stopped mid-chew on her piece of banana and about spit it from her mouth when she saw a figure standing by the tree line. She wasn’t sure what made her look in that direction, but something was telling her to look up. She let out a choked sob and stood up, placing the coconut shell on the ground. 

“James?”

Jack followed behind her and called out.

“Juliet, what’s wrong?”

Juliet continued towards what she perceived as James, her eyes tearing up as she did so. She was on the verge of breaking down again, but she held back another sob as she spoke to James.

“Why did you leave me here? You just left us here!”

Now she was yelling, and it caused Jack to step in front of her, his concerned eyes searching her blue eyes. 

“Juliet let’s just calm down. Tell me what you’re seeing right now. Who are you seeing?”

Juliet wanted to scoff at Jack and then yell at him too. Wasn’t it obvious?

“James is right their Jack. Can’t you see him?”

Jack shook his head no and look towards the tree line. He saw nothing but trees.

“I’m sorry Juliet, I don’t see anyone there. Maybe your more tired than you thought?”

Juliet exploded in anger at that moment. Emotions running their course and she began to pace. Curling her fists, she looked Jack straight in the eye.

“You’re lying Jack! He’s right there! Why would I lie about that? How can you not see him?”

She continued to stare at James’ figure standing at the tree line. He only shook his head at her and gave a sigh.

“You’re the only one that can see me blondie. I ain’t here for the doc.”

Juliet’s face blanched, but she kept pacing. She felt her breath quicken. Jack put a hand on her shoulder. 

“Hey. Hey. Juliet look at me. You’re having a panic attack; I need you to relax.”

A panic attack? She’d never had one of those in her life. Breathe? What did he think she was doing anyways? 

“Why don’t you believe me Jack?”

Swallowing, she took another step forward and tried to reach for James. She’s spent the last month and a half keeping everything pent up inside. But today, she let the cork go and the river of tears began to flow again.

“You weren’t supposed to leave the two of us!”

She continued to reach for James and Jack pulled her into his arms. He was surprised at how strong she was. He wasn’t quite sure how he could help her. But she needed help. This was giving way to depression. 

“Everything is going to be ok Juliet. Just relax.”

Jack had to figure out a way to calm her down. She was almost beyond hysterical, something he’d never seen before. But she wasn’t handling any of this well. He looked towards the   
tree line where she was still trying to reach for James. Juliet was still trying to convince Jack he was there. She kept repeating her words over and over again.

“He’s right there Jack… He’s right there… How can you not see him…?”

Sighing, all Jack could do was hold onto her until she calmed down. 

To Be Continued…


	5. A dream? Or reality?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet is led into the jungle by the black smoke posing as Sawyer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the LOST characters. But I do own Sawyer and Juliet's daughter.

Had it been a dream? Or was it real? Juliet turned over on the blanket covering the sand below her. It was getting harder staying comfortable with her ever-growing belly. Had she really been seeing James? Staring up at the tent ceiling, she shook her head. 

“Jack’s right, I’m probably just tired.”

Light was starting to seep through the opening of the tarp by her feet that served as her front door. She heard Jack’s voice come through the tarp and shut her eyes.

“Juliet are you awake?”

Opening her eyes, she propped herself up on her left elbow and answered.

“Yes. I can’t sleep anyways. Come in.”

Jack parted the tarp enough to enter Juliet’s shelter. 

“How’s your back?”

\Juliet drummed the fingers of her right hand over the swell of her belly.

“Sore. You know, I’ve got a lot of laundry to do can we do my injection later?”

Jack stared at Juliet seriously and then shook his head no walking towards her with the syringe in-hand. 

“You know the rules Juliet. This needs to be done right now. I’ll be quick about it. I promise.”

Staring up at the ceiling Juliet bit her lip. She almost wanted to hold her breath to alleviate the pain, the pinch of the needle was always the worst. Maybe seeing James was her way of not quite letting go. Had she seriously had enough time to grieve his loss? She knew that nightmares were one of the weirder parts of pregnancy, but were the one’s she was having about James really connected to it? Shaking her head, it might as well have been a separate issue. She grew angry when Jack offered her a hand up. Pushing his hands away, she pushed herself to her feet with the crate that was next to her head.

“I’m perfectly capable of getting to my feet by myself Jack.”

Jack stood out of her way as she gathered a pile of dirty clothes in her arms. Following her outside her shelter Jack spoke behind her. 

“You know I’d prefer if you didn’t do your laundry alone. I’ll have Kate help you. You know we’re all here to help you Juliet.”

Sighing, Juliet placed a shirt on a rock and poured water on it, putting some soap she began scrubbing it. The rock had become her washboard. She missed her washer and dryer. One of the fallbacks of living on the beach. But it was better being here with the rest of them than with Ben. At least here, Ben didn’t have control over her anymore. She was finally free. Kate showed up next her and put a hand on her forearm. 

“Here Juliet, let me get that. Jack told me you could use a little help.”

Moving aside, Juliet almost wanted to let out an annoyed sigh, but buttoned her lip and gave her best smile. Maybe it was a bit tightlipped. 

“Thanks. I’ll have to figure out how I’m going to juggle this and the baby once they come.”

Kate stopped scrubbing and looked at Juliet with sympathy.

“You have an entire camp that is willing to help you out Juliet. We have your back.”

Juliet hadn’t been paying attention. Her attention had wandered to the tree line where she’d seen James a few months ago. Looking back to Kate she blinked.

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

Kate stopped scrubbing and gave Juliet a concerned look.

“I said we have your back. Those of us that are left in the camp.”

Nodding, Juliet dunked a pair of pants into the water trough and then handed them to Kate. A thought wandered out of her brain and made its way out of her mouth. 

“Kate do you think James is still lingering on this island?”

Kate continued scrubbing Juliet’s yellow shirt and looked her dead in the eye.

“I guess it depends on what unfinished business he had in life.”

Juliet furrowed her eyebrows in serious thought.

“This island has been punishing me from day one. Had I known that Ben had plotted for Richard to kidnap me from Miami 6 years ago, I would’ve steered clear of the ‘job opportunity’ presented to me by him.”

Kate stopped and looked at Juliet for a moment and gave a heavy sigh.

“We all ended up here on the island one way or another. Whether it was by happenstance or kidnapping. Either way, it was against all our wills. We didn’t have a say in it did we?”

Juliet handed Kate another shirt as she dunked a pair of pants into the water trough. Looking up at the tree line, she saw James standing with his back against a palm tree, palm fronds under his feet. She gave him a watery smile. He held out his hand to her, taking it she stood up, this got Kate’s attention. 

“Juliet where are you going?”

Juliet turned back and smiled, a first genuine smile Kate had seen in weeks. 

“I’m going with James for a little while. Tell Jack not to worry.”

Kate stood up and started to protest.

“Juliet that’s not James… Come back!”

But by the time the words came tumbling from Kate’s mouth, Juliet had disappeared into the thick jungle that lie ahead. 

 

To Be Continued…


	6. The cost of being wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet finds the cost of being wrong as the black smoke monster posing as Sawyer leads her to the lagoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the LOST characters. But I do own Juliet and Sawyers daughter.

“James where are we going?”

Juliet was becoming very flustered with James because apparently he was playing a game of charades with her. He put his index finger to his lips to quiet her. She knew that she would need to soak her feet soon. Pushing through the thick underbrush, she found herself standing on the edge of the Lagoon. I haven’t been here in 6 years. Turning to James, Juliet smiled.

“How did you know where the lagoon was James? I used to go swimming here on really hot days.”

She was too busy admiring the view of the lagoon to notice arms had pinned her from behind and soon she found her head under water. Struggling to keep her head above water, Juliet felt herself beginning to panic. She would lose consciousness soon and then water would fill her lungs meaning it was the end of the line. The more she fought to get to the surface, the more tired she became. Another pair of hands grabbed for her shoulders and felt as if they’d flung her in mid-air before she realized she’d hit the muddy ground with a thud. Shielding her stomach with her arms she let out a groan as the wind was knocked out of her. Disoriented and trying to figure out who’d brought her up from her watery grave, she found her vision was blurry. Blurred images of two men fighting was all she saw. She tried to find her voice, but it was hoarse.

“Hey…”

She instantly froze when she heard the ticking of the black smoke monster. A black blur rushed past her and she did the only thing she could think of to protect herself and her baby, she rolled up in the fetal position as best she could and stayed as still as she could. 

“Juliet? Are you alright?”

Juliet coughed and tried to catch her breath. She felt Jack’s helping hands against her shoulders. 

“Easy. Easy Juliet. Slow deep breaths now. Just relax. Does anything hurt?”

Shrugging her shoulders slightly Juliet stayed rolled up until she felt Jack’s hands on hers. She was still disoriented, but she let him move her hands and arms away from her stomach so that he could examine her. 

“I think I had a contraction. Probably from falling down.”

Jack nodded his head and put a hand on her shoulder. 

“If you’ve had a contraction Juliet, I need you to stay absolutely still. Let’s just wait this out for a few minutes. If you don’t have anymore, I’ll help you up ok?”

Putting a hand to her face, Juliet let out a slight whimper. I’m four months pregnant, I don’t need this right now! Taking a breath, she uncovered her face and sat still. She must look a mess. She knew her hair was caked in drying mud as was the rest of her. She stared up at the azure blue sky and waited patiently. I should’ve known better than to follow the black smoke monster. Why had he disguised himself as James though? He was preying on my emotions, my grief for him still raw and exposed, he picked a face I knew I would trust. What’s next? Rachel? Or my nephew Julian? Twenty minutes had gone by and nothing had happened. Placing a left hand over her belly, Juliet looked down at it and sighed and relief.

“I think they’ve stopped. Could’ve just been Braxton and Hicks too. I know that look Jack. Bed rest for me for a few days. Just to make sure everything is ok.”

Giving a flustered sigh, Juliet took Jack’s hand and lifted herself to her feet. Taking a few steps forward, she realized she’d left the beach without any shoes. It wasn’t until they were almost back to the beach that she noticed Kate was with them. 

“When did you get here?”

Kate gave Juliet a sympathetic look and kept walking.

“I came with Jack. I stayed with you while Jack fought off the black smoke monster. If you ever need to talk Juliet, I’m here.”

Normally, Juliet wouldn’t have minded having Kate around, but right now she found it irritating. 

“I’m fine Kate. I should really get back to my laundry.”

Jack put a hand around Juliet’s wrist and shook his head. 

“Don’t worry about that right now. You need to get some rest.”

Kate didn’t take offense to Juliet’s words, she only downplayed it and smiled.

“I’ve taken care of your laundry Juliet. It’s hanging up to dry. If you need anything else, just let me know.”

Maybe what she needed was a cat-nap. That always worked wonders. At least in the last few weeks that is. Making her way back into her   
shelter, she pulled the tarp down over the entryway and settled herself onto the blanket on the sandy floor below. As she tried to get into a comfortable position she muttered to herself.

“What I wouldn’t give for my bed right now.”

As her eyes drifted closed, her mind went over the events of the last few hours. Why is the black smoke monster toying with me? I hope   
James shows up soon, I need to feel his touch. Her dreams weren’t filled with joyous reunions of James with his arms wrapped around her growing belly, instead they were filled with her anguished cries, and a distant wailing of a baby that was not in the world yet.

To Be Continued…


	7. I don't need pity. I need understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet worries when she doesn't feel her baby moving. Later she has an encounter with James, then her and Jack have an argument about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the LOST characters. But I do own Juliet and Sawyer's daughter.

Juliet searched the sand with her eyes as she lowered her self onto a downed palm tree on the ground. Her hands on the swell of her belly she bit her lip and looked down at it. She had no idea when she woke up that morning that this would happen. It was the first time she’d had the best night’s sleep since before she’d lost James. Back when they were in the Dharma Initiative. Holding back some tears, she shook her head. She was determined not to cry. Not until she knew exactly what was going on. She didn’t know if talking to her belly was going to help, but anything at the moment was a help.

“Come on sweetie, please tell me you’re just sleeping in there.”

She sat quietly for a couple of minutes and waited for a strong kick in her ribcage. She began to panic when she felt nothing in return. Feeling a hand on her shoulder, she looked up to find James sitting next to her.

“What’s the matter blondie? Why are you cryin’?”

Thrusting herself into James’ arms, Juliet let the river of tears out and loud sobs accompanied them. She suddenly felt very safe in his arms.   
Nothing could hurt her while she was in them, not even the black smoke monster. 

“You don’t understand James; I can’t do this alone. I haven’t felt the baby move since this morning.”

James put a hand up to Juliet’s left cheek and stroked it. Leaning into his touch, she closed her eyes and savored the moment. Was he really here? Or was this some kind of trick? The right one found her belly and placed it over her own. 

“The little guy’s probably just sleepin’ is all. If you’re really that worried, go and tell the doc.”

That was exactly her intention. When she turned to say something more to James, he’d disappeared. Covering her eyes, she let out another sob. Then taking a breath, she opened up her eyes and found Jack kneeling before her with a concerned expression written across his face. 

“Juliet, what’s wrong?”

Swallowing, she placed both of her hands back over her belly and kept them there. She couldn’t stop her bottom lip from trembling. Her   
voice shook as she told Jack her findings.

“I haven’t felt the baby move since this morning.”

Jack had a look of pity on his face, and Juliet became cross with him.

“I don’t need pity Jack. I need understanding. Understanding about what I’m going through. Just know I’m not crazy.”  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Well from what I can tell, everything looks normal. Good placental blood flow. Are you drinking enough water? Strong heartbeat. She’s probably just startled by something.”

Juliet narrowed her eyes at Jack and fingered the ultrasound machine with her right hand. 

“She? So it’s a girl then?”

She was hoping to keep it a surprise until she went into labor. Jack nodded his head yes and turned off the machine. 

“Yes and congratulations Juliet. Now that we know that your daughter is ok, let’s talk about the elephant in the room: James.”

Juliet frowned and played with the hem of her shirt. I knew it! He still thinks I’m seeing things! Why is it that I only see James? Why can’t Jack   
see him too? Sighing, she let a tear roll down her left cheek.

“He comes and visits me every now and again. Before you showed up in front of me while I was sitting on the downed palm tree on the beach, he was sitting right next to me. He told me everything was going to be ok.”

Jack was quick to scoff at Juliet. 

“James is dead Juliet. He’s never coming back. You know that. Now whatever fantasy you’ve created with him in it isn’t helping your condition any. I think that this has been brought about because you didn’t have enough time to grieve his loss. You need more rest. If you need help, just ask. We’re all here for you.”

Juliet was fuming. How could Jack saw that? James was there, she wasn’t imagining him. She wasn’t making it up. He wasn’t a figment of her imagination. He was absolutely real! 

“Ok Jack, if James is some sort of fantasy of mine, then why is it that I can feel his touch huh? You tell me how that’s possible?”

Jack was about to respond when he saw Juliet’s reaction and stopped. He watched as her hands went flying to her belly and she let out a   
gasp and then a slight laugh. 

“I felt a kick!”

Plopping her head back on the exam table, she let a few tears flow before she smiled. 

“Something tells me that this little girl is going to bring us some good luck.”

Jack gave her a smile and sighed. Juliet needed some good news in her life right about now. She’d been through too much in the last 7 months. 

 

To Be Continued…


	8. Following an image of what was

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet sleepwalks into the jungle following what appears to be James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the LOST characters. But I do own Sawyer and Juliet's daughter.

Juliet had just seen James walk into the jungle. She had to follow him. But what if it was another trap the black smoke monster was setting up for her? To hell with that! She heard a voice behind her.

“Juliet? Where are you going?”

It sounded a lot like Kate. Without turning to her she spoke.

“I’m going after James. He went into the jungle. He didn’t tell me where he was going.”

She kept walking forward until hands landed on her shoulders. Gasping, she stumbled on some tree roots protruding from the sand below her feet. She heard Kate’s voice again, but it was very far away.

“Jack, I think there’s something wrong with Juliet!”

Becoming confused Juliet stood and looked around her. Even though she’d heard Kate’s voice, she was nowhere near her. In fact, Kate was down the beach hanging her laundry to dry. This doesn’t make any sense. Why am I hearing Kate’s voice when she’s not even anywhere near me? She continued to trip and now she was hearing Jack’s voice.

“Kate, she’s sleepwalking. You didn’t try to wake her up did you?”

Juliet didn’t know what was going on other than the fact that she was falling. She felt strong arms catch her, and she managed to mumble the name of the one man she loved more than life.

“James?”

Her vision went dark and the voices disappeared. What’s going on?  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She woke to a seagull crying overhead her shelter and a dry mouth alerted her she needed water. Gasping and then taking a breath, she opened her eyes only to find herself face to face with Jack. Startled, she curled her fist, but then relaxed it. Jack put his hands up in submission and sat back on his knees. 

“Whoa! Juliet relax! It’s me!”

Running a hand over her face, Juliet let out a humorless laugh. Uncovering her face, she apologized to Jack.

“Jack I’m sorry. I was having this wild nightmare that someone came into my tent and tried to kidnap me. When I got a good look at their face, I saw that it was me. What’s that supposed to mean Jack?”

Jack sighed and took her pulse for a moment. 

“It was just a nightmare Juliet, don’t read into it. Pregnancy brings about very vivid and strange nightmares, especially towards the latter half. My guess would be anxiety about going into labor. Especially in this place. I wouldn’t try to get up if I were you right now. You sprained your ankle pretty good. Your right ankle got stuck in some twisted roots sticking out of the sand. I wrapped it up and taped it. Keep it elevated and don’t put any weight on it for a few days. I know it’s hard for you to stay still Juliet, but it’s very important that you do this.”

Juliet lie still and smiled at the feel of little feet dancing below her hands. 

“I can’t wait until she comes out.”

The smile fell away from her face and she started to cry. Her emotions were off the map, she knew that. She hated feeling so vulnerable. Losing James was like losing a piece of her soul. Jack squeezed her hand.

“Everything’s going to be ok Juliet. We are all here for you. You’re not alone.”

Shaking her head, she looked Jack square in the eye.

“That’s not it. What if seeing James is some sort of sign? Like some kind of warning? What if someone is going to come and take me away?”

Jack sat and stared at Juliet for a moment.

“Don’t you worry Juliet, none of us are going to let anything like that happen to you. The black smoke monster can’t come on the beach; he can only come as far as the tree line over there. We’ll keep you safe.”

But in the back of Juliet’s mind, she knew that nothing would keep her safe from the black smoke monster. What she wouldn’t give for James embrace right now. 

To Be Continued…


	9. Surrounded by strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben shows up with a group of people Juliet has never seen before, then he tries to steal her baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the LOST characters. But I do own Cara Sawyer and Juliet's daughter.

Juliet was having the best night sleep, and not to mention she had just found a comfortable position to lie in when she felt a hand clamp over her mouth. Her breath quickened and she opened her eyes wide only to see six strangers surrounding her. Someone was holding her down by her shoulders up by her head. But she couldn’t see any of their faces. What is this? Am I having one of those really bad nightmares again? Wake up Juliet! The firelight that was coming in was casting strange shadows, and she thought she caught a glimpse of one of her attackers. She gasped behind the hand clamped over her mouth when she realized who it was.

“You will always be mine Juliet. You think I was going to let you get away that easily? Since you didn’t finish your job, I found someone else that could. The woman holding your ankles is the one that replaced you. Her name is Erica Stevens. You belong to me and the child your carrying should have been mine. Not James’.”

Swallowing hard, Juliet did the only thing she could think of to try and free herself from the strangers all around her. She made a split-second decision and bit the hand of whomever was keeping her quiet. She instantly became disoriented when she felt an electrical shock in her side. Her eyes grew wider when she heard a gunshot and someone falling to the sand with a thud. The firelight coming from just outside the tent glowed against Ben’s face. He looked at all the other people with him.

“Anyone else feel they need to question my leadership?”

Satisfied with the silence of the answer from the others, Ben looked at Juliet and ran a hand through her hair. Juliet couldn’t move so she had to imagine making a disgusted look at him. A few tears slipped down her cheeks. But she quickly quelled them and took a breath. I wish I could move! Jack help me! She knew that Jack must’ve heard the gunshot. Then as if by magic he tore into her tent.

“Juliet, what’s going on?”

Jack’s eyes darkened as he came face to face with Ben. An annoyed sigh escaped Erica Stevens mouth. 

“Should I give this to her Ben?”

Erica Stevens held a syringe in her hand very near to Juliet’s stomach. Juliet was just beginning to get the motion back in her body, and was trying to squirm her way out of the syringe’s path. Jack wanted to knock the syringe out of this woman’s hand. 

“What is that?”

Erica smirked at Jack and shook her head.

“Just a little something to kick-start labor.”

Shaking his head, Jack could do nothing with four guns pointed at him. 

“…And why would you want to induce labor?”

The smirk stayed on Erica’s face as she answered Jack.

“This child belongs to Ben.”

Juliet began to protest, trying to roll herself into a tiny ball for protection. 

“The hell she does! She belongs to me! Cara belongs to me! She is mine and James daughter! You can’t have her, and I sure as hell don’t give you one ounce of permission to induce labor. You don’t have my permission. Got it?”

Ben nodded at Erica and she followed through with her orders. Juliet struggled against Erica as she held onto her ankles. She wanted to spit  
in her face. Jack was knocked unconscious with the butt of a hand gun. Looking Ben straight in the eye, Juliet let her tone become dark.

“What do you think this will accomplish Ben? This will accomplish nothing. Cara isn’t your daughter to raise. She’s mine! Understand me?”

Growing angry, Ben got in her face and frowned.

“This is happening Juliet, as retribution for leaving me.”

Juliet could feel her nose begin to flare, she was angry.

“I have never been yours Ben. You’re insane! You can’t have my daughter! Let me go!”

How am I going to get out of this one? 

To Be Continued…


	10. ‘I make the decisions here not you.’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet is forced into early labor, meanwhile, her and James have a tearful reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the LOST characters. But I do own Sawyer and Juliet's daughter Cara.

“I make the decisions here not you!”

Juliet was livid as she glared Ben down. He only sat and watched everything unfolding in front of him. 

“You are going to make a wonderful mother Juliet.”

Shaking her head, she tried getting up from the bed. But found her feet were being kept in place by rope. 

“What the hell is this? Untie me right now! You have no right to hold me here like this!”

She was surprised to see that her hands weren’t tied together. They were lying atop her belly. Ben was sitting next to the cot and his hand  
was reaching for Juliet’s. Fixing a glare on him, she wrapped her arms protectively over herself.

“You so much as even try to put a hand on my stomach, you’ll regret it.”

Wincing a bit, Juliet now turned her attention to Erica Stevens who was down by her feet. 

“Juliet I need you to stay still. This baby is coming whether you like it or not.”

Juliet attempted to sit up once more clear denial written across her pretty features. Mouth slack and wide open, she tried to get her words out.

“How? How long?”

Erica Stevens frowned and sat back on a wooden crate she was using as a kind of stool. 

“At least another 16 hours. I need you to relax and stay still.”

Juliet smirked and kept her arms crossed over her stomach. 

“First time births take much longer than that. Are you sure you know what you’re doing? You seem a little nervous. How many babies have you delivered?”

Maybe I do have the upper hand on this situation. Continuing to smirk, Juliet stared Erica down and took a breath. 

“Two.”

She had to strain to hear what she’d said. Juliet felt like boring holes into this woman’s forehead. So she really has no idea what she’s doing? Great. 

“Two? You must’ve just finished your residency and are starting out in the field. Let me guess; you would like me to walk you through the motions right?”

Erica sat on the wooden crate and shifted nervously. 

“Well I figured you wouldn’t mind since Ben told me about all the great work you’re doing here on the island. Delivering your baby would be my first shot at being in the spotlight here.”

She wanted the limelight? I don’t even want that for myself. My job is to help the women on this island. Turning her head off to the side,  
Juliet saw Jack begin to stir on the sandy ground beneath him. 

“Juliet, what happened? Are you alright?”

Juliet could just reach for his hand. 

“Jack you have to stop them. They’ve induced labor. They are essentially plunging me into dangerous territory. I’m still several weeks’ shy of when the baby could even survive outside my body.”

Sitting up with a groan, Jack took in his surroundings and his eyes narrowed when they found Ben next to him. 

“What did you do to her Ben?”

Ben sat stony-faced and watched Juliet. Jack became disgusted at his words that came tumbling out of his mouth.

“That baby is coming Jack, whether Juliet wants to deliver her now or not. The child rightfully belongs to me.”

Jack saw that his hands were tied and looked Ben in the eye.

“Untie me right now Ben. I need to examine her.”

Ben still sat, defiant of Jack’s words.

“No.”

Jack’s anger grew, and with it he did his best to tug against the rope holding his wrists together. 

“If you don’t untie me, she and that baby will both die! Do you understand how grave the situation is now?”

Ben’s face grew pale. He hadn’t thought about the consequences. He’d only thought about the baby girl he’d be getting out of the deal. He  
really hadn’t thought about what it might do to Juliet. Relenting, Ben shook his head and then turned his attention to Erica sitting on the crate. She was organizing all the supplies she had on hand for the impending delivery.

“I need you to stop what you are doing Erica. That is an order. We’ll have to figure out some other way to do this. Another time.”

Jack had somehow managed to free himself from the rope tied around his wrists. He all but dragged Ben out of Juliet’s shelter and threw him to the sand. Some of the other survivors rushed towards the pair, Jin and Kate bringing up the rear, with Sayid trailing a bit behind them. Kate was the first to speak.

“Jack? What’s going on? Why was Ben in Juliet’s tent?”

Jack grabbed Ben by the collar and spoke up.

“I’ll tell you why he was in Juliet’s tent: there’s 6 more of them in there, and a woman who was attempting to deliver her baby. Ben was going to take the baby from Juliet without her even knowing.”

A scream from the tent made the hairs on Jack’s arms stand straight up. He knew that something was wrong. 

“Sayid, watch Ben!”

Rushing back into the tent, he pushed Erica aside and saw a very frightened Juliet lying back on the cot, breathing heavily. Anger simmered just below the surface and Erica could see that in Jack’s features. 

“Why are her feet still tied down? Untie her now!”

Jack now noticed that Juliet was talking to someone.

“I can’t do this alone James.”

James sat on the edge of the cot, his left hand running through her knotted blond curls. 

“Don’t you worry about a thing blondie. The doc will patch you all up. The baby’s going to be just fine.”

She shook her head and more tears rolled down her cheeks. James kept stroking her cheek and wiped her tears away. 

“I can’t do this James. I can’t breathe.”

James planted a kiss to her belly and then one to her forehead.

“Yes you can baby. Just breathe.”

Jack saw something sparkle on her left hand and stared at her ring finger. Juliet spoke to James, but she was still out of breath.

“I can’t do this right now. She can’t come right now. It’s too soon… I don’t want to lose her…”

James shook his head and gave her a concerned look. 

“The docs gonna patch you up there sweetheart. Baby’s gonna be just fine. See you found yer ring there blondie. It ain’t too sparkly, but I hope you like it.”

Tears still streamed down Juliet’s face as she nodded.

“I found it in your shirt pocket. When were you going to ask me to marry you?”

Juliet covered her mouth as she heard James response.

“It was supposed to be a surprise. I was gonna pop the question next Thursday. Ring looks good on you blondie.”

Swallowing she closed her eyes and when she opened them, James had disappeared. 

“Please don’t leave me now James…”

Jack sat back on his knees not sure of what to make of Juliet’s conversation with thin air. He simply believed she was talking to herself. But then again, this was the island, and there were some very strange things that went on. 

To Be Continued…


	11. A nice quiet ('normal') day on the beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sawyer and Juliet have a conversation about going home, meanwhile, a little later Juliet suffers what appears to be a stroke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the LOST characters. But I do own Sawyer and Juliet's daughter Cara.

“Well aren’t you the chatterbox this morning.”

Juliet laughed out at the wild movement of dancing feet in her belly below. After the traumatizing chaos that happened nearly a week ago, she was enjoying this nice, quiet, ‘normal’ day on the beach. Sitting under the shade of one of the palm trees, she watched as the waves crashed against the sand and stared out at the ocean. Longing for home. She wondered what her sister Rachel’s reaction would be when she saw her like this? She’d be happy, I know that. Glancing down at her engagement ring, she twisted it in circles on her ring finger. 

“James you’re missing out on all this action. Your daughter is getting restless in there. She wants to greet the world.”

She closed her eyes when she felt scratchy stubble against her neck. 

“Wouldn’t miss this for the world blondie. Whatcha dreamin’ about anyways?”

Smiling, Juliet turned to James and watched for his reaction. He attentively reached a hand out to her belly and placed it just off to the side of her left one. 

“Home. My sister Rachel and my nephew Julian. You know my sister named him after me. She had cancer, and it made it so she was unable to have children. That’s where I came in. She’d wanted kids her whole life, I just helped her out a little. My nephew was a miracle. Just like Cara.”

The couple stared out at the ocean for a minute or two before either one of them decided to speak again. James finally broke the ice and spoke first. She gestured towards her belly and let out a contagious laugh. James smiled. He really missed her laugh. Juliet missed waking up in his arms every morning.

“This view would be nice ‘cept for the fact that we got no way off this rock. You know I was there right after the doc patched you up. He talked to me without even realizin’ he was. Don’t think he’d go admittin’ that though.”

Juliet leaned into his embrace and didn’t let go. It wasn’t until Jack called out to her that she fell over into the sand.

“Juliet, do you want some fruit?”

Attempting to sit up, she shook her head and closed her eyes as soon as she saw Jack sprinting towards her. She felt his hands under her shoulders and he was lowering her to the sand. She was dizzy, but sitting up would make her feel better. 

“Jack I’m fine…”

She opened her eyes to see him frowning.

“No you’re not fine. I want you to lie still for a few minutes. Now are you having any dizzy spells?”

Nodding her head yes, Juliet yet again attempted to sit up.

“Yes, but sitting up would help me.”

Jack kept his hands firmly planted on her shoulders to keep her from getting up. Her head in his lap, he looked at her carefully. Checking her pulse, he noticed it was thready. He also noticed she was suddenly not making any eye contact with him. He shook her shoulder to try and get her attention.

“Hey Juliet, can you look at me? Juliet?”

Jack’s frown deepened as he got no response from her. She seemed to be staring at something to the left of her. He tried calling out to her   
again, this time a little louder.

“Juliet if you can hear me, follow my finger.”

James returned to Juliet’s side and was now sitting in the sand beside her. He was pushing back some hair that’d fallen into her face.

“Come on baby wake up. Tell the doc what’s wrong.”

It’d now been almost 15 minutes since Juliet had last talked to Jack, and this worried him. Her eyes hadn’t moved from their position   
pointing left, and she hadn’t blinked. He had a sinking feeling. He didn’t know he was holding his breath until he saw her close her eyes and take a breath. 

“Juliet?”

A minute later she let out a groan of pain and opened up her eyes.

“Ah. I feel like someone punched me in the chest, what’s going on? What happened?”

Jack sympathized with Juliet. He wished he could tell her. But all he could go on was her symptoms. 

“You were just talking to me and then suddenly your eyes drifted off to the left. You didn’t move or say anything.”

Juliet stared at Jack her mouth hung open in shock at first. Furrowing her eyebrows, she offered up her theory.

“What? So your implying I had some sort of stroke? Jack, I’m too young for one of those. You can’t be certain I had one unless you get me a CT. Which, where in the hell are you gonna find one of those on this island!?”

Jack put a hand up to try and calm a very distressed looking Juliet. 

“Juliet I want you to take a breath and calm down. Think of the baby. You’re putting stress on her right now. I need you to relax.”

Juliet pointing her finger at thin air, grew angry and burst.

“Oh shut up James! I look like a cow and you know it.”

Jack felt helpless at first, Juliet was having an argument with air. But could there be more to it than that? Jack wondered about all those times Juliet had told him about seeing James. Had it been real after all? Juliet seemed to calm considerably when James put a hand up to her cheek, running a hand through her curls. 

“Ease up there on the anger blondie. I was just kiddin’ around. You don’t have to be all wise-ass about it. You will always be beautiful to me. Now let the doc help you. Just relax and rest. Whatever Jack tells you, you do it.”

Juliet nodded and took a breath, then letting it out ever so slowly.

“Ok James.”

Juliet stayed quiet while Jack examined her, James all the while holding her hand and never leaving her side. 

“I’m right here sweetheart. I won’t leave you. The two of you are the most important things to me. You and Cara.”

Her eyes wandered back out to the ocean and she smiled. I’m getting off this island and nothing is going to stop me. 

 

To Be Continued…


	12. 'It's just a storm'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet goes into labor with Cara and the delivery is difficult. Jack saves both Juliet and Cara's lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the LOST characters. But I do own Cara.

The crashing waves against the rocks had woken her. She tried to drown out the noise of the waves and the lightning just outside her tent by placing the pillow over her head. Her left hand made its way to her belly, which she felt if it got any bigger it would explode. She felt tiny feet doing their dance below her hand, although a bit frantic. 

“It’s just a storm sweetie. It’ll pass. Mommy is right here. I’ll keep talking to you until you fall back asleep ok?”

The tiny pitter-patter of feet against Juliet’s belly made her smile. She wished James were here to share this moment with her. It saddened her to think that James would never be there for their daughter as she grew up. He’d miss her first smile, learning to crawl, learning to stand and then walk, her first words, the first day of school, first boyfriend, going to college if she chose, and giving her away on her wedding day. Juliet tried not to think about those things, but the more she thought about them, the more they haunted her. 

“You’re going to love Miami Cara. It’s warm year round, they have dolphins and when you’re old enough I’m going to take you to Disney World. I can’t wait for you to meet your Aunt Rachel and your cousin Julian.”

She sighed when the movement in her belly settled. Fifteen minutes later, she felt a sharp pain. Thinking that it was only Cara’s tiny feet doing its little dance again, she patted her stomach to try and get her daughter to settle.

“Cara, baby girl, it’s time for bed now. Mommy is really tired.”

Juliet waited for a few minutes to see if the pain returned. When it hadn’t, she carefully turned back onto her side and closed her eyes. Cara settled once more and she sighed as she relaxed her whole body. There wasn’t a position that was very comfortable for her to lie in these days, but she found that lying on her side and placing another blanket between her legs as a cushion helped. She kept seeing the lightening behind the pillow flashing every now and then, but, at least, the thunder was dying down. The storm is finally passing. She found herself dreaming of James as she fell into a semi-restful slumber. 

“Come on blondie! We’re going to miss our ride home!”

She could see the huge ship in the distance. A navy ship of all things. How they’d found all of them was beyond her. Juliet had been packing her bags all day long and it made her smile to think that now she was going to leave this godforsaken rock. It meant their daughter would be born in a hospital on the mainland. 

A sharp pain suddenly woke her and she looked around her shelter trying to pinpoint where she was exactly until she remembered she was still on the island. This sharp pain was much like the first one, but this one was stronger. Juliet noticed it was daylight now and she knew the best course of action was to call for Jack. Slowly climbing to her feet she exited her tent. She saw Jack was out of his shelter a couple of tents down filling up his water bottle from his water trough. He looked up when he saw her approaching. 

“Juliet? How’d you sleep last night? Some storm we had.”

Nodding Juliet finally made her way over to the water trough. 

“Actually, I slept pretty well after Cara decided to stop using my bladder as a soccer ball. Truth is, I had a contraction last night but it went away. I haven’t had anymore until this morning. I had one about 10 minutes ago.”

Jack frowned and set his water bottle down on the sandy ground next to the trough. 

“How many contractions have you had Juliet?”

Juliet wrung her hands nervously but looked Jack straight in the eye. 

“Two so far. God Jack, they were horrible. I’m surprised you didn’t hear me screaming last night with the first one.”

Jack watched Juliet’s movements for a moment and saw her reaction deep within her blue eyes, even though she kept her cool mask on. 

“Ok, since you’ve only had two, we have a little time. But we do need to get you to the medical station and onto monitors. The beach is no place for you to give birth.”

But of course, Jack was stating the obvious. Of course, I’m not giving birth on the beach. Or in the jungle for that fact. Could she really do this alone? She was suddenly scared of going through labor alone. What if she couldn’t do this? Jack could see the fear just below the surface. 

“Juliet, everything is going to be just fine. I will be there with you the whole time. Ok?”

Jack’s words didn’t seem to lift her into a state of confidence, still, she nodded her head in agreement anyways. After everything that had happened to her over the last nine months, Juliet knew that Jack would never let anything bad happen to her. 

“As long as you can assure me Jack that Cara will be healthy.”

Jack paused at the edge of the tree line and steadied Juliet when she tripped over a tree root. 

“I know you're nervous but it’s ok, you’re not alone.”

A watery smile graced Juliet’s lips. 

“No, Cara and I have each other. I was hoping we’d be off this island by now and I’d be giving birth to her in a hospital.”

The wind suddenly began to pick up and Juliet for a moment watched as the palm fronds on the ground moved with the gusts. Driving rain began to fall on their heads as the sky opened up, and with a loud clap of thunder, accompanied with a flash or two of lightning, a storm came rolling in. Worse than the one from the night before. Jack was gentle but tried to hurry Juliet along. By the time they reach the medical station and climbing inside the hatch doors, the two were soaking wet. Just as they got to the hidden room behind the lockers, Juliet wrapped her hands around the frame of the bed and held on tight. A contraction making its way through her. Jack could tell she was having difficulty breathing. 

“Juliet look at me. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. There you go, that’s it.”

She gritted her teeth as the contraction came to a head, this wasn’t working. 

“Oh god it hurts!”

Jack put a wet hand on her shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. 

“When this contraction is over, what do you say we get you into something dry?”

Juliet heard Jack, but she was too busy focusing on the pain shooting from her abdomen. She felt a hand grip hers, making her look up. Throwing a tearful sigh at James, she blew out a breath.

“Glad you could make it James. I was thinking I had to do this alone.”

James gave Juliet a dimpled smile and shook his head, chuckling as he did so.

“Are you kiddin’ me blondie? I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

As the contraction wound down, Juliet sighed in relief and took a moment or two to breathe. Her soaking wet clothes were now sticking to   
her like glue. What she needed was a towel to dry off and some clean clothes. But she knew that she’d have to put a gown on. As Juliet peeled her clothes off Sawyer smirked. 

“I still say you got a cute baby belly their blondie. Yer too hard on yourself.”

Rolling her eyes, Juliet threw her shirt at James and he ducked to avoid being hit with the soggy garment. Juliet now noticed that James was staring at a long and thin scar that was very close to her right hipbone. She suddenly felt very self-conscious and wrapped her arms around herself. James ran a thumb over her wet skin.

“It was a long time ago… A man broke into my house one night and I was stabbed before I could call 9-1-1. I was lucky I lived through it. I pressed charges against the man and he’s still sitting in a jail back in Miami. Serving only a 12-year jail sentence if you can believe that.”

James frowned and helped her into her gown. 

“I woulda given him a piece of my mind blondie. He had no right to hurt ya the way he did…”

Juliet only sighed as she climbed into bed. Jack only smiled, but she could see the pity in his eyes. 

“I know you miss James, Juliet. It’s perfectly natural. I’m just going to put this iv in ok? You’re going to feel a little pinch for a minute…”

Bracing herself, Juliet looked to the swell of her very pregnant belly and placed a tender hand there. Nodding, she stroked her belly and spoke.

“Please don’t hurt mommy on the way out.”

Jack put a hand on Juliet’s and gave it a squeeze. 

“Everything’s going to be just fine Juliet. I’m right here and I won’t let anything happen to either of you. Ok?”

Nodding, Juliet pulled the sheet over her and watched the monitor to the left of her. The band around her stomach was monitoring the baby’s vitals. 

“I owe you a big debt of gratitude Jack. You saved our lives. Without my serum, I’d be dead right now. Look I know I discussed with you that I wanted to try a drug-free approach to this, but I’m not retracting my decision to actually have an epidural. I do want one.”

Turning her attention back to James, Juliet sighed, content that he was there. She knew Jack would point a finger at her and say she was delusional, but she didn’t care. Perhaps she could prove to him that he was actually in the room with them? Jack had to believe first.

“You are so beautiful blondie. That baby in your belly is gonna come out just fine. She’ll be healthy. I promise I won’t leave until I’ve seen her come out of ya. Ok?”

Juliet gave a tearful nod and gripped James’ hand once more as a contraction showed itself searing and white hot. 

“I can’t do this without you, James. Please don’t go.”

Jack heard the desperation in Juliet’s voice, and the pity he held for her crept back into his voice. She needed reassurance.

“Just bear down and blow through the pain, Juliet. Just try and relax.”

Juliet glared at him as the contraction came to its peak. Blowing through the last of the pain, her head whipped around as the machine next to her head began beeping loudly. 

“What’s wrong?”

Jack only squeezed her hand and checked the monitors. Pulling the sheet back to expose her semi-bare stomach, he readjusted the band around it. 

“Just relax, everything’s ok. The band just slipped and it wasn’t registering the baby’s heart rate correctly. See? Above 80. Perfectly normal.”

Taking a breath, Juliet watched the monitors again and smiled. 

“I just want her to be ok Jack. I don’t have anybody else…”

Jack could hear her voice crack in the last part of her sentence. 

“You have all of us back at camp Juliet. You won’t be alone. I promise.”

Juliet put on a brave face and continued watching the monitors. 

“Can I have that epidural yet?”

Jack shook his head sympathetically and scooted the stool closer to her, handed her a towel to dry her hair.

“Not yet. You’re only at 4 centimeters. Two more to go.”

Juliet groaned and placed an arm over her face. Jack could see that she was cold and handed her a blanket. 

“I never used to think this would be so hard. But I’ve never been in the driver’s seat for this. Never on the receiving end.”

Putting a hand on her left one, Jack shook his head.

“No one woman ever knows what it’ll be like to give birth until they’ve experienced it for themselves. Even then, the experience for each is different. No one is the same, Juliet. Remember that.”

The island had taken away a lot of things over the years, Juliet knew that. She rested her hands on her belly. Her daughter was her only hope   
of getting off this island. A contraction began to pick up again and Juliet braced herself. The nasal cannula didn’t seem to be helping any, even though it was providing the much-needed oxygen she needed. She noticed this contraction was lasting much longer than the others she’d had previously. Watching the monitors, she blew through the pain and started to count in her head. One: Cara is going to be just fine. Two: If Rachel were here she would support you in every way. Three: You know all the ins and outs of labor; you can do this. Four: Jack is going to help you every step of the way. Five: Cara is going to be healthy. Six: James would be so proud of you. Seven: Where’s that epidural!? Eight: You’re not alone. Nine: You’re going to get off this island. Ten: Cara is going to look like her daddy. Eleven: You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. Twelve: You have nothing to worry about. Thirteen: You’ll get to meet Julian. Eventually. She was suddenly interrupted when Jack sat down on the stool in front of her. 

“Just keep breathing Juliet. I’m just going to check really quick and see where we’re at.”

Distracting herself, Juliet looked up at the ceiling and tried to block out the pain. 

“Are we at six yet Jack? I’m ready for that epidural anytime now.”

Jack pulled the sheet back down over her legs and raised his eyebrows.

“Actually, you're already at 9. I could give you the epidural, but I don’t know how long it’ll be before the next contraction.”

Juliet nodded and turned onto her side. Grabbing for the metal railing on the side of the bed, she held on.

“Ok, let’s get this show on the road then.”

Staring at a crack in the wall, Juliet tried not to tense her muscles as Jack inserted the local into her lower back. As he was about to insert the   
epidural into her lower back, he felt the mood in the room change. Looking over at Juliet, he noticed her face was pale and she was taking slow, shallow breaths. 

“Juliet, tell me what’s going on?”

Opening her eyes, Juliet swallowed and then spoke.

“I don’t feel so good. Something doesn’t feel right Jack.”

Carefully placing the epidural, Jack resumed his seat in front of Juliet. Pushing back the sheet covering her legs, he frowned.

“Whoa! Looks like someone wants to come out feet first!”

Juliet attempted to sit up, but Jack put a hand on her knee. 

“Let me see.”

Jack shook his head and kept his hand on her knee.

“Juliet, I need you to lie back and relax. Just keep breathing ok?”

Blinking back tears, Juliet looked up at the ceiling. She felt hands behind her back. Looking to her left, she found James had appeared again.   
She became angry with him.

“Where’d you go James!? Where were you when I needed you!? Huh? Now that you’re here, don’t go anywhere.”

Jack thought he saw a figure from the corner of his eye, but thought nothing of it, and tried to calm Juliet.

“Juliet, I need you to stay calm. Relax and keep breathing.”

Nodding again, Juliet plopped her head back against the pillow and grabbed for James’ hands, gripping them with all the strength she could   
muster. She groaned but kept her attention on James who was doing his best to keep encouraging her.

“Just relax sweetheart. The doc’s got everything under control. Keep your eyes on me ok? I’m not gonna let anything happen to you or Cara. Ok?”

She gasped when she felt like a weight had left her. Tearing her eyes away from James, she averted them to Jack.

“Is she out Jack?”

All Juliet could see of Jack was his shoulders, and they were slumped. She strained to hear his response.

“No. Not yet. But there’s a lot of oozing here. You have an abruption Juliet. I can get Cara out, but you’ll have to go into surgery afterwards.”

Juliet swallowed. Nodding bravely, she put in her two cents worth.

“Ok get Cara out. Then let me walk you through the surgery.”

Jack frowned and looked up for a brief second.

“How exactly are you going to do that Juliet? You’ll be on your back with my hands inside your uterus.”

Juliet wanted to laugh.

“Jack, you gave me that same speech right before I took your appendix out. Remember?”

Jack nodded and turned his attention back to bringing Cara out into the world. 

“You’ll feel a little tugging here Juliet. Don’t push.”

Juliet stared into James’ eyes and got lost in them. Fifteen minutes later, she heard Jack call out to her.

“I’ve got her Juliet!”

A smile graced her lips and then suddenly disappeared. 

“Jack, she’s purple. Why isn’t she crying?”

Juliet held her breath as Jack cleaned out Cara’s nose and mouth. A few seconds later, a cry accompanied the silence. Jack swallowed. He was   
just as nervous.

“Give her a minute to catch her breath.”

Juliet let the breath she’d been holding out and watched her baby girl cry. As each minute passed they grew stronger. Her coloring was   
improving and she was now a reddish-pink color. 

“Can I hold her now Jack?”

Jack wouldn’t deny Juliet her child. This labor and delivery had been difficult for the both of them. Placing the squalling baby girl on Juliet’s stomach, Jack gave her a minute.

“Hello baby girl. I’m your mommy.”

Sawyer leaned over and brushed a light hand over the tiny baby’s surprisingly full head of blond hair. 

“Well, would ya look at that; looks like someone’s already got her daddy’s dimples.”  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Juliet was glad now that there was a barrier separating her and Jack’s operating field. It was different when she was the one cutting through skin and muscle to save a child’s life. She found it a little unsettling. At least since it was happening to her. Swallowing, Juliet put on a brave face and turned her emotions off. Professional mask on, she gave Jack directions.

“Be sure you make the incision at the midline Jack. You have a lot to cut through, including muscle.”

She wasn’t sure why she winced, it was just a knee-jerk reaction. Jack noticed and paused.

“You want some more local Juliet?”

Swallowing again, Juliet shook her head no and distracted herself with staring at the ceiling above her. 

“No, I’m alright. What’s it look like in there Jack?”

Juliet struggled to see around the barrier separating her exposed and open stomach. She grew nervous as Jack hesitated for a moment. 

“It’s really boggy in here. Blood’s flowing pretty badly. I’ll get everything under control Juliet. You have my word.”

The cold air on her exposed insides was making her cold, but Juliet held in a shiver and kept staring at the ceiling. Her eyes were getting   
heavy, maybe it was best if she was asleep for this. Darkness soon surrounded her.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first thing she woke to was pain, and at first she couldn’t see anything. A pit formed in her stomach. Then she felt someone’s hands removing something from her eyes. A blurry form appeared before her eyes and she could make out that it was Jack. 

“Juliet, how are you feeling?”

Her throat was scratchy and dry. Clearing it, she tried sitting up, but Jack put a hand on her to lie back.

“Like I went 50 rounds with the Black Smoke and lost.”

She squinted as Jack shined a penlight in her eyes.

“You just need a few days’ rest. Don’t worry, I put everything back where it belongs. Everything went well, I managed to stop the bleeding and yes to answer your question: your uterus is intact. If by chance you meet another man you can have more children.”

Juliet took a minute to chew on what Jack said. 

“That’s… That’s good news.”

Her blurry vision was now beginning to clear and her eyes landed on the plastic basinet next to the bed. 

“That shot of morphine should be kicking in pretty soon.”

Juliet’s hand landed on the plastic basinet and she shook her head no.

“Jack I’m breastfeeding. How am I supposed to feed her with all these drugs in my system?”

Jack averted his eyes towards Cara who was beginning to squirm inside the basinet. 

“We can supplement until you are feeling better. She’s not going to know the difference.”

Juliet watched a squirming Cara inside the basinet.

“Jack I owe you our lives. Thank-you.”

Jack nodded his head and reached a finger into the basinet. 

“Cara is a strong testament that this island can’t control everything. She’s a miracle.”

 

End


End file.
